My swallow

There is nothing worse than a spontaneous gathering of the common folk. They flock together in this country. It is to see who has died or to beat a wretch who has killed the children and the chickens. It is to play cards or to buy fake Lacoste shirts that, instead of a crocodile, feature a Berlengas sardine.

At the slightest excuse, the common folk, who are bored and long for distraction, gather together. It should be banned, except at fairs and pilgrimages. If we are going this far, fairs and pilgrimages should also be banned, because it has already been shown that they encourage contact between people. […]

But let us not ramble, because there is much to be trimmed. For example, those beggars who, instead of orally presenting their appeal, in the traditional style, produce an extensive, self-pitying text, written in illegible Portuguese, saying that they have been better and that they are practically as good as they are going to get.

Those ladies who know the names of all the cakes and make a show of it. Instead of pointing with their finger to the shop window, like ordinary mortals who have more important things to do, they begin to recite their Masonic spells.

"A Jesuit, a daisy, a charleston, a six-nozzle lathe, a berimbau, a gonzaguinha, and two custard tarts." Miguel Esteves Cardoso

Miguel Esteves Cardoso (b. 1955) is a writer, columnist, and an influential figure in contemporary Portuguese culture. With a background in Economics and a long career in journalism and communications, he became known for his singular voice, capable of combining humor, lucidity, and a precise observation of everyday life. His work — which includes books such as A Causa das Coisas, Os Meus Problemas and O Amor é Fodido — has evolved over the decades into a more intimate and refined writing style, in which reflection on love and time takes center stage.